Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize