i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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