ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
