is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
