He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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