im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
