i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
