Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
