im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
