i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
one might say we're banned from that church
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
