But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
this is an emotional support booty call
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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