Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
