I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
