I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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