Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They took my balls.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
