My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
