no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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