dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
