Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
