I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
