seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
