I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
A+ Viking dick
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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