A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
