We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
