i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
