Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I've blown a few things in my day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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