All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
