I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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