genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
