please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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