I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize