part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
