so that wasnt chicken after all
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
