if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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