rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize