Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
