I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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