Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
