i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
