That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
