Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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