So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
