Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize