Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
