My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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