Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
