So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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