are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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