I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
