i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
