you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
