Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he laminated a picture of his dick.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
