i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
