And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I would ride that face into the sunset
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
