my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize