sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
