She went from zero to smokin in five shots
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
dude. I can hear the air.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
