Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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